J*A*S*M

A very well made horror sci-fi short with one great thing: the look of the monster. It’s brilliantly done and looks terrifying, I would love to take it home with me.

I wasn’t expecting it to be particularly good, but surprisingly, it is good. A lot of people didn’t like it, though, because it takes the word “slow” to a completely different level… Compared to it, Stake Land is an action movie. Exit Humanity is another film from the category of post-apocalyptic road movie dramas, this time set during the American Civil War and spiced up with zombies. The atmosphere is great, the zombies are fantastic… I’m not that excited, but it does deserve 7/10. The best Canadian horror film since Pontypool.

Spain with snow is sexy and I’m always up for any indie sci-fi, it’s a pity that Eva is so bloody predictable! Really, so much that it almost ruins an otherwise beautiful atmospheric experience. Slightly above-par.

The transition to full fiction doesn’t fit Cohen at all. Where Borat and Bruno were sharply satirical thanks to their documentary format, which allowed average Americans to make complete fools of themselves, The Dictator is only eager and a little vapid. Cohen barks and bites in every direction again, but this time it feels as if instead of proper fangs, he had fake teeth. Some of the scenes are incredibly funny (birth! head! onanism!), but I was struck by a great deal of slag (so-so jokes) and many scenes that spend minutes lazily bordering the cringe, only to fizzle out without producing anything very funny (the scene on the helicopter that looked good in the trailer is ruined in the film). There are some good moments, but I expected (and wanted) something much sharper. 6+

After the initial intense feeling of dismay and cringe, the second half brought a satisfactory, four-star worthy experience. If I ever watch it again (which I doubt, it’s more like a snack), maybe the experience will be more fully positive, but until then, I can’t give it more than three stars. In any case, there are tonnes of one-liners, likeable protagonists, and it’s fine overall.

A view into the soul of a serial killer that it’s rather unknown in Czechia. Something between Henry and The Poughkeepsie Tapes, and it’s not at all bad.

Two stars for the technical aspect, otherwise, awfully dull. It kept me interested for about 45 minutes, then it lost me. An unlikeable hunk jumps around in Mars surrounded by four-armed green creatures, there’s the expected fateful encounter… and I don’t give a toss… If it was at least funny in any way! But no, just sterile boredom. Millions of dollars wasted and one of the most pointless blockbusters in recent years.

The three stars are for the format, because this is somewhere “beyond” found-footage or docuhorror. I don’t think I ever saw a film composed entirely of secret recordings and wiretaps and I fully appreciate that “creativity”. Otherwise, it can’t be said that it’s in any way thrilling, scary or, heaven forbid, fun.

You almost get the feeling that in The Philippines you can run into a ghost at every turn. One road, one building, three decades, three short stories, lots of characters and one hundred and ten minutes is maybe a little too much for one film. The first story, taking place more or less in the present (2008), sets the horror bar pretty high and the remaining two stories never reach it – in fact, they don’t get even close. This doesn’t mean that the first story is the best, it’s just somehow the scariest and creepiest. Overall, the film left me with very mixed feelings. There’s plenty to complain about (for instance, the pointless twist), but some moments are really very intense. 60 +

No! Now Spanish creators have also jumped into the septic tank of teenage “horror” mainstream. Spain is certainly not one of the superpowers of this type of soulless sterility, so I’m very disappointed to see something like this coming from there. A derivative story about students going to an abandoned mining town in the country’s backwaters to research about a doctor-psychopath. It had potential, the setting of abandoned towns always works on me, but the way it’s executed is so unoriginal – and not only that, but also uninteresting and bland – that it cannot offer anything horror-wise (at least not for the more experienced viewers). There are a couple of chaste bloody murders, overlit mines, several crazy 3D effects and a predictable twist, the most shocking fact of which is that the creators were serious about it. A waste of time. 3/10