Shark Night 3D

A group of beautiful young people go to enjoy their leisure time in a house on an island in the middle of a lake. They are having a lot of fun until the moment a shark (that a group of local psychopaths has released in the lake) bites the hand of one of them. From this point on, the script begins to resemble a farce – everything gets pointlessly complicated (people fall into the water, boats explode), the IQ of the characters falls to 50 (Sara’s behaviour towards her ex-boyfriend), etc., plus predictability at all levels. And on top of that, the film has a PG13 rating, this means hardly any blood, hardly any nakedness, hardly any vulgarity, which is terrible for a summer teenage horror flick with sharks. Four points out of ten for the good execution. If anything, you can at least notice that the creators have some experience with a camera. But that’s as much of consolation as if you were told that, instead of an utter ignorant, you would be operated by a student of medicine who’s just finished the first semester. (23.09.2011)

A summary of many kinds of non-acting. The most interesting thing about it is that its creators didn't consider it essential to include even a second of any suspense in a horror film (or thriller, as it says here). The blood is flowing, the sharks are growling and leaping above the surface, everything is obviously serious... No, it's not. It's been two weeks since I finally saw Spielberg's Jaws in the theater, so I may be biased, but... No, I'm not. Shark Night 3D is really stupid. And anyone who doubts the sanity of the crew that filmed it should wait for the incredible music video after the end credits. That scared me about a hundred times more than any shark. (12.12.2014)